Monday Musings

Life is like a box of chocolates - or at least that is what Forest Gump said. For me, life is like a baby's neck - sometimes it smells like sour milk and you want to hide from the world and sometimes it smells so heavenly and fresh that you can't help but cry from being so happy. For me today, life is heavenly and happy. I held my almost a month old dd and realized that this is my calling. Yes, I have had the thought before but it truly hit me today. It hit me so hard that I choked up as I looked down at her face. I had just finished taking a shower and, when I turned the water off, I heard her crying. Ok, she was shrieking in that tone that says, "Stop being so selfish and bring me my udder." I was fussing to myself as to why noone else heard her when I realized that the TV in the kitchen was up too high for them to hear anything else and the others were downstairs in the family room and couldn't hear her either. I wrapped a towel around head and threw on my clothes and came out. I picked her up and realized that she would have to take a bottle for this feeding as I had selfishly given myself a secret pleasure by showering with Imari soap - not smart if you breastfeed. I held her on my lap and just looked at her as her sister prepared the bottle and realized that this is what makes the world go around - little babies and love and mothers. I am truly meant to be a mother. The phrase "too blessed to be stressed" means such a different thing when you take it from the point of being a mother. Looking back at the past few months and the issues we have had with the now 16 yo ds I realized that even he and his now over 6 foot tall body was once this small and I held him just like this. Motherhood is my calling; my spiritual gift is the gift of love.